You Can Say That Love Goes Anywhere, In Your Darkest Time It's Just Enough to Know It's There

I slammed the door of Alaric's car as I ran to the front door of the Salvatore's house. I had just heard the news from Elena who had heard it from Stefan. I couldn't even imagine what Elizabeth was going through, I wanted to be there for her.
I walked straight inside the house, not caring about knocking. "Elizabeth?" I called out not sure where she'd be in the gigantic house.

The ambulance just took Adi's body out of the house. I got cleaning supplies to get his blood off the wood. I didn't bother changing my blood stained white shirt. I began my work crying when I heard Jeremy's voice. I went around the corner and saw him. "Jeremy." I all I could say before crying again.

I could hear her sobs and then I saw her come around the corner. I instantly walked over to her and wrapped my arms around her and pulling her in. "Hey, it's going to be alright." I said , but I knew that this would never go away. I couldn't imagine what I would do if anything happened to Elena, and we weren't even actual siblings, let alone twins. I didn't want her to be in pain, yet I didn't know what to do.

When he wrapped his arms around me, I did the same sobbing in his shirt by his neck. I moved my head to talk. "Its not alright jer. I was the one who killed him." It didnt seem like we were doing anything. I remebered his last words.

"Watch out Eli, one more push and I just might die."

We were joking though. I never thought his words were going to be true. Then I remembered what I told him.

"Adrian! I'm going to kill you!"

We were only playing. Now he is really gone and i did kill him. I was so stupid. All over a paperwad at tye back of my head was no reason for his life to be taken.

"It was an accident, you didn't mean to. I know you didn't mean to." I didn't want her to keep blaming herself for accidents, although it did seem like they happened all the time to her. She had just told me about my parents dying, and now she had this brand new burden of guilt. I kept my arms around her,letting her cry. I could feel my tshirt already being wet, but I didn't care. I softly kissed the top of her head, "I'm so sorry Liz."

I knew it was an accident, but he died at my hands. I was a monster. What was I supposed to do now? Turn myself in to the police for every life I took? I needed to do something before I hurt anyone else, like Jeremy. "I'm a monster in my own skin. I don't know what to do."

I didn't know the answer to this one. There was nothing that could be done. "I guess we just have to get through it. You can't blame yourself it won't make anything easier, just don't think of yourself that way, you can't."

His words made both sides of me fight. The good side of me said he was right, but the side that is the true me said to fight against his words. Which should I listen too? I just stood there holding onto him shaking my head. I gave into my troubled, true self. "Why should I lie to myself, Jer? He was the fifth person I killed. Who knows who might be next. I don't want you hurt."