Stefan's Journal

Subject: Stefan's Journal Thu Mar 29, 2012 4:28 pm

Dear Journal,
The strangest feeling has overcome me today. I have no clue what it is; it just seems to be engulfing me emotionally, mentally.
The lurking darkness that has overtaken Damon has quieted itself, even though he is still the same sarcastic bastard that everyone has grown to know all to well.
I am very mirthful to report that Elena is slowly leaning back into her old lifestyle. Jeremy seems to be content, acting as he should be---a teenager. A normal, sane teenager.
The darkness of Klaus has slowly dissipated, leaving us, especially me, on our toes. He may just be lurking around the corner for all we know, ready to attack his prey.
Maybe tomorrow something exciting will strike.
-Stefan

Subject: Re: Stefan's Journal Fri Mar 30, 2012 4:19 pm

Dear Journal,
~~Another normal day in Mystic Falls.~~ I can't lie anymore. This life I'm living in Mystic Falls is slowly being shredded apart with each day that I force myself to wake up to. Each time the smirk passes over Damon's face as he kills another innocent, I wish to run away. Each time I see Elena's innocent face flash a shattered smile that I had partially caused, I wish to run away. Each time I read the journals from reflecting on my Ripper days, I wish to run away. This life is going nowhere. I have caused too much damage to simply run away from the colossal aftershocks.
This is just too much.
-Stefan

Subject: Re: Stefan's Journal Sun Apr 01, 2012 9:25 pm

Dear Journal,
Not exactly in the greatest mood today. I can't control these cravings, they're lurking over me every second. I fear that I will hurt someone I care about.
-Stefan

Subject: Re: Stefan's Journal Sat Apr 07, 2012 3:29 pm

Dear Journal,
The sun is bright today as it shines upon my lapis lazuli ring. In some ways, it fits my mood today- bright and believing that tomorrow will be even better than today. Everything seems to be heading my way, in a good way of course. Elena is smiling once more, the town of Mystic Falls is finally at peace, Damon has managed to cool down, Klaus has not shown his face in a while.
Could this ~~day~~ week get any better?

Stefan

Subject: Re: Stefan's Journal Tue Apr 10, 2012 12:36 pm

Dear Journal,
This is actually a time when I can honestly say; I feel normal. Even if Elena has found a new love interest, I feel...free. This new-found independence is surprisingly keeping me from killing for that sweet, crimson liquid that runs through their arteries. A year ago, I would have been a wreck if she had left me. I would be ripping throats out, tearing artery open.
Who knows, I may just discover something new about myself.
-Stefan

Subject: Re: Stefan's Journal Mon Apr 23, 2012 3:41 pm

Dear Journal,
Is it normal to say that I fear falling asleep? These dreams, nay, nightmares that I experience every, single night have placed me in a position in which I fear the time when the sun sets and I have to rest my head upon that pillow.
Oh, help me, Lord. I do not believe that anyone truly is more muddled than I at this very moment. Each dream is like a small puzzle piece just waiting for me to piece the giant picture together so I can finally get a good night of sleep.

Can't anyone help me?
-Stefan

Subject: Re: Stefan's Journal Tue Apr 24, 2012 4:17 pm

Dear Journal,
These nightmares, they have possessed my every thought, every waking moment of my day. They haunt me into wanting to know what they truly are. I can't help, but wonder if these are tagged along with the Ripper within me. Is it trying to escape, push its way through to the surface once more? So many questions left unanswered, and I am truly determined to find the answers to the mind-boggling, mysterious nightmares.

-Stefan

Subject: Re: Stefan's Journal Sun May 27, 2012 11:56 pm

Dear Journal,
I don't feel like myself anymore. The daylight has drawn all of the energy from me, metaphorically. The nighttime is simply a bore, for there is nothing really to do. It's either tag along with Damon or feed, which I then have to narrow down to bunnies or humans. Oh how the choices vary.
Even writing in this journal feels so...out of character. I was rummaging through the large attic upstairs and came upon a box full of my ancient belongings, including some of Damon's, but he can find it himself when I'm finished with it.
There's one object in there that brought back a boat load of memories; a football. The laces are slightly shredding, but it is still in fair condition. I may have just found my key to bringing a portion of my human years back.

-Stefan

Subject: Re: Stefan's Journal Thu Jun 14, 2012 3:03 pm

Dear Journal,
I have managed to align some parts of my life. According to others, I am still somewhat 'off the rails'. Looking back on my previous Ripper years, this experience doesn't even compare with the hundreds I killed back then, each one's name scrawled on the wall of the apartment.
It feels like I'm in a rehab, slowly awaiting the arrival of m old self.

-Stefan

Subject: Re: Stefan's Journal Tue Jun 26, 2012 1:44 pm

Dear Journal,

The ideas that have managed in through the crevices of my mind have slipped their ways out through my mouth, one such being a camping trip. It started out as a solo getaway, most likely the third or fourth one this year. And it then gradually molded into a group camping trip. Somewhere along the later lines, Elizabeth joined the group. Her behavior immediately alarmed me, especially since I have seen Damon act this way before. I bit the bullet and asked her about it, finding out that she was bitten by a rogue were. The only problem is, I believe she may not have much longer. Maybe this trip is what she needs, one last hoorah before she slips away from our fingertips.
A new face has tumbled back into my life, Kevin. He's like a son to me, a son who disappeared after I taught him so much. And now, that son who I had made a spot in my heart for has come back into the Salvatore family.
Oh how Mystic Falls has changed.

-Stefan

Subject: Re: Stefan's Journal Thu Aug 09, 2012 9:05 pm

Dear Journal,

I am dearly sorry for neglecting you these past few weeks. Chaos has ensued, even if I have tried my hardest to pick up the pieces to my life. My brother and I have managed to stitch together the remnants of our friendship, and we are taking small steps to gaining back what we had when we were humans.
Is it selfish to say that I want to be that giddy, human teenager again? I wouldn't care about dying, it was one thing I used to always worry about.
I could never tell Damon how I would pace around my room when he was off fighting in the army. I would have these overwhelming feelings that death was lingering around our family. And look what happened, death came in the form of Katherine.
On a lighter note, there hasn't been much activity on the new vampires in town. At least things seem to be settling down a bit.

-Stefan

Subject: Re: Stefan's Journal Fri Aug 24, 2012 6:20 pm

Dear Journal,

Not much to say. Mystic Falls is the same, residents are mostly the same. Damon is the same pompous bastard. To sum it up, nothing has really changed besides the hands on the clock that tick away. ~~Maybe if I just~~ No, that would raise hell if I were to do that with everyone already on alert.

Wish I had more to report.

-Stefan

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Stefan's Journal Stefan_journal

Subject: Re: Stefan's Journal Thu Jan 31, 2013 5:49 pm

Dear Journal,

Time passes with the wink of an eye, unfortunately. The cure has managed to continuously slip through our grips of knowledge at least hundreds of times thus far. The level of frustration within the 'teams' has been dramatically rising. Oh, what I would do to turn the dial back to when things were normal...and Elena's heart still held a steady beat.
The nights have been a struggle for me; sleep was never a friend of mine. I wish I could tell you of my twisted relationship with Rebekah, but I have a feeling prying eyes (ahem...Damon) will go rifling through these pages somewhere along the way of the future.

-Stefan

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